Reflections on my Savior

I am a Mormon.  

This means I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We have Sabbath day worship every Sunday and renew our covenants that we have made with our Savior Jesus Christ.  During these meetings, we also listen to talks from our peers about things relating to our faith, study the Book of Mormon, have open discussion about our faith, pray, and sing.  

The Holy Ghost surrounded me with his love today.  It wasn't a mountain-moving force, but instead a soft comforting peace; I knew He was with me.  How comforting it is to know that we are never, never alone.  Not going to lie, though, this was something I have struggled with this semester.  It is challenging to move out and begin to grow up on your own, and a lot of the time I felt deserted by my God.  Now I can look back and realize that it was actually I that left Him.  Having these feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and sadness combined with  everything going on in my life was overwhelming sometimes - literally heartbreaking, choking.  I remember praying that He could help hold my heart together, just for a little while, until I healed on my own. 

In church today,  I was reminded of the Savior's atonement for me.  Some of the thoughts I had-  

• Jesus went through the pain of every sin, every broken bone, every broken heart, every lonely feeling, every sad day, every last tear shed, for me.  In fact, He suffered this for all men, but because of His love for me, He would have gone through with it just to save my single soul if need be.
• Christ was alone when He suffered these things. Even the God of all the Heavens withdrew his presence from Him - it was needed for the atonement.
• Christ is the only one that has really experienced loneliness - we will never be alone, we always have Him with us. 
• My actions directly affect the pain he suffered in Gethsemane. 

The last bullet point moves me the most.  In fact, I almost wept in class today for the gratitude I felt for my Savior. How gracious, how kind, how perfect, how much He must love me go through every single pain I have suffered in this life, so that He could be there to comfort me when I felt it.  I look back to a little while ago when I felt like I was drowning in loneliness, helplessness, and anguish - it was one of the hardest times of my life, and so painful.  My heart aches when I think about it.  And to think that I put that upon the Savior's shoulders along with all of the pains he went through for every person that has ever lived makes me sick.  I feel so selfish.  It is one of my new goals to never let myself wallow in self-pity or loneliness.  Unlike the Savior, I will never be alone.  He loves me so very much.  He is my big brother.  He is there to pick me up when I fall, there to wipe my tears when I'm too weak, there to carry me when I have no strength, and there to cradle me when I need comfort.  He is there to praise me when I do good, bless me when I choose righteousness, and celebrate with me when good things happen.  He is my advocate and always will be.  How grateful I am for a Savior that cared enough to die for me- My mind drifted to this hymmn and how perfectly it describes my feelings for the Savior right now. 

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me

Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me

I tremble to know that for me He was crucified.

That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died.

Oh it is wonderful to that he should care for me enough to die for me

Oh it is wonderful

Wonderful, to me. 

To find out more information about my faith visit lds.org